January 30th, 2012
Almost one year to the date from my last post. I'd love to say I've been so busy I just didn't have time to blog, but that's not the truth and I've said from the beginning this would be an honest journaling of my journey to let go of the past and find my way back to a healthier me!
What have I been doing for the past year? Well, apparently I've been busy gaining back the weight I lost. I do recall that as of May of 2011 when I graduated school, I was still very close to my goal weight. Then before I had a change to get used to wearing normal clothes, I traded my whites in for a uniform of "wife beater" tee's and an apron to get busy with the start up of my new home-based baking business. By the end of May, I was baking around the clock to initiate my first attempt at my own business. I've began to work from home to create freshly prepared bakery items as a registered home processor through the NYS department of Farm and Ag... (which has been a major learning process)
So what? I'm now 192.5 pounds (which is 8 lbs higher than when I started this venture and 22 lbs higher than this time last year!, so this is now very real and scary for me) I'm FAT! There, I've said it (out loud as I typed this as well). I know that I have to do something once and for all or I'm going to have some serious medical issues popping up soon. I have aches and pains EVERY DAY and as much as I sometimes secretly hope it's something wrong and fixable, I have to finally own it and understand that it's because I sit on my ass and sulk and eat and do pretty much nothing.... hmmmm I'm kinda hard on myself huh? Oh, yes, that's because along with the FAT and the ACHES and PAINS, I'm also MOODY as all hell!
Know what I say to all of that? ENOUGH!!!! Today I am 192.5 pounds, I'm OK with saying that, and I'm ready (I pray) to do something once and for all. I've planned to take it one day at a time, and make sure to pray for help and pray when I'm successful as well. I know I can't do it in a month, or a year, so the only goal I'm setting is to promise to continue to work on it and to "OWN UP" when I screw up.
Ready, Set, GO!
